So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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