I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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