I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
