But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
The struggles of a small town man whore
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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