He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Randomize
