I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
what day is it and did you see me today?
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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