My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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