just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
