New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
