I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I love black thongs
another moral hangover. fuck.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize