My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Randomize
