I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
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