that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Randomize
