It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
