How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
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