It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
