i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
