I just made out with a guy for $7.
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
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