i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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