Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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