8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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