Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Randomize
