Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
