dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
You ruined the universe
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize