I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Randomize
