Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
