Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
