I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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