I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
