That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Just cropdusted the office
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
