I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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