new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
