im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
