she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
The power of my boobs compel you
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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