So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
