I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
