$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize