it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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