Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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