so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
