Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
