Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Randomize
