When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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