apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Drunk is not a location!
Randomize
