I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
