If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
