i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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