I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
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