her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize
