just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
