I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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