It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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