if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Randomize
