If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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