Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize