great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
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