I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
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