i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
