I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
