I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
